Hamster Wheels of the Mind

You know the feeling, your head is a bit bowed down and you are unaware of your surroundings as if wearing horse blinders. Your mind is incessantly going round and round about a topic. One can visualize these thoughts as hamster wheels of the mind.

Jane is close to 60 and has been coming to see me for a few years. She had a difficult marriage and raised her son single-handedly after getting divorced when he was young. Long without a romantic relationship, one came into her life unexpectedly and she was over the moon. After a few months, however, he started showing signs of aggression. Before too long the relationship became untenable as a result of his emotional abuse.

That hurt!

The Mind and the Heart

The relationship had been over for two months when she came to see me. Her biggest challenge now wasn’t that she wanted to get back with him but that she couldn’t get him out of her head. She was constantly ruminating about issues of the relationship. Her friends and family were beginning to cast judgment on her for this. She was even getting a bit worried about herself.

It wasn’t that she was just going over interactions with him play-by-play, over and over again. She had anger that had nowhere to go and it was boiling up insider of her. Yes, family members want to punch him out, and she does too. But there was no realistic way to go forward with those impulses, although she did joke about my visiting her in jail.

A classic case of the head taking over the heart’s truths, her mind was overpowering her intuitive and discerning knowing of what was real. Her ego was wounded and the bruise was raw. There was also a feeling of something very unjust having happened to her and it hurt her on a soul level.

Childhood and Past Life Wounds

As is almost always the case with hamster wheel thinking, aspects of the relationship overlaid a childhood wound that wasn’t healed. It was ultimately that raw gaping hurt that was triggered. The obsessive quality of her ruminating was her earnest attempt to understand something a toddler never could have.

Jane also had a fascinating past life emerge to be healed. In it, she was condemned to death as a mystical heretic during the European witch hunts. Being full of nothing but light and grace in that lifetime, her soul was crushed and it felt like a stake was put through her heart.

As I asked the healing to come in for her from her soul and Higher Self, I saw the energy go to her ears and the dense energy of internalized thought forms from her childhood programming. The past life was healed so that she took off like a shooting star.

Finding Inner Truth

I also suggested she learn this very simple but powerful meditation to help her discern her true understanding of the circumstances.: Finding Inner Truth

Despite the pain, in the end the failed relationship was a perfect jumping off point for a good relationship to come Jane’s way. She woke up to a part of herself that was long dormant, and she looks radiant as a result. By healing the layers that showed up with her ruminating, she is cleared out of old issues of betrayal and of not being good enough.

I saw her a few days after the healing and she feels she has finally put the relationship to bed.